


It is now

by BeeTrixR



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 13:34:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5587894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeeTrixR/pseuds/BeeTrixR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somethings need to be spoken, but when it is the right time to do it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	It is now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ideas_of_an_extra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ideas_of_an_extra/gifts).



> I'm really not good at this, but I wanted to show some love to my Secret Santa who is really the sweetest :D

\- Laura? - Carmilla comes from the end of the hall. 

\- Carm... - Laura looks around. - Where is LaF? 

\- They're trying to slow down the Corvae armor with some traps. I need to talk to you. Did you know that you talk when you're sleeping, right? 

\- Yes, you always pointed it out. - A smile crosses Laura's face just to fall over the memory of times when she and Carmilla were still happy, safe and together. 

\- I know - Carmilla says and her expression shows that she had the same memory as Laura. - So, tonight you said something while you were sleeping and I listened to it. 

Laura replays her entire night, all the nightmares over the night, trying to figure out what it is that Carmilla is actually talking about. 

Carmilla continues: 

\- We are locked up in the library and you still will go back to Silas to find Perry and J.P. and try to fix everything, but... 

Laura's mouth opens in shock when she remembers the exact dream, praying to all Gods that she didn't say that out loud. Right now, it is not the time for this. 

\- Carmilla, we... I. I caused a lot of damage and when I was trying to fix it, I caused even more. 

\- Cupcake, I told you, we.. 

\- We all had a part on this. - Laura interrupts Carmilla - but I'm still responsable for my, giant, share of it. We need to focus in save Perry and J.P., in doing things right... 

\- I am trying to make things right. Don't you see? - Carmilla moves closer to Laura and grabs her hand, puting it over her chest - I am a vampire. I am dead. But you do make my heart beat. 

\- Carm, I can't. 

\- Why not? 

\- I told you before. It isn't fair. 

Carmilla looks devasted to Laura and asks: 

\- Do you still see me as a monster? That I need to redeem myself? Are you waiting for me to change? 

\- NO. - Laura yells - Sorry. - she lows her voice - I'm not. I just.. is that.. We need to sit and talk. And I cannot do this right now. Not with everything falling apart and we hidding on the library trying to figure out either your mother's dead or not, if she's the one trying to destroy Silas, the one responsable for the one's we lost... - Carmilla gets even closer and Laura closes her eyes - We need to fix this before fixing us. 

\- Seems like 'us' is the last thing in your priority list. - Carmilla looks hurt, sounds hurt, and Laura opens her eyes, looking down. 

\- I don't know if I can explain that, Carm... 

\- Try it. 

\- I, What if I can't remedy all that happened? What if, in the end, Mattie, Danny, J.P. and Perry... all of that, all the pain, all the death, was for nothing? 

\- I know you enough to know that this won't stop you of trying. - Carmilla breaths out. 

\- Yeah, but what about you? Would you be willing to go back for nothing? After all of that? Would you be willing to forgive me for cost you the only family you had in exchange for nothing, on the end of the day? I don't know how I managed to make this such a mess, but I don't want to start this over just to break us down again. I don't believe I would be able to handle... 

Carmilla stops trying to reach out for Laura as she thinks. After a while she seems decided, so she asks, softly: 

\- Handle what, exactly? 

\- ... - Laura looks up to meet Carmilla's gaze - I cannot... I cannot handle the idea of losing you again! Maybe, if we're only having this talk after everything's settled, it will not hurt if you decide not to go back with me; if you decide that you can't forgive me for your sister; if you decide I don't worth you sacrificing yourself over and over again. - Laura is sobbing at this point and Carmilla closes her eyes to stop herself of reaching out for Laura and kissing her - maybe if you decide to go and something happen to you, it won't hurt that much because I didn't had you. You weren't mine again for me to lose. You aren't mine to lose now and I Can't have you just to risk you gone... 

Carmilla looks up to the library ceiling, and when she looks back at Laura, her eyes are filled with tears: 

\- Laura... Why can't you realize that I am yours? I'm yours since I burst into that stupid dorm room. Even that crazy fairy queen you saw on the vhs tape knew I would be. We made a lot of mistakes, but the talk we should have about it, is this. Right now. It is this, you telling what you are afraid of, what we have to risk, what we have to solve, It is now when I say that I forgive you for Mattie and for all that happened and that I want to be with you and we can work us out. Figure out where we want to go together, what we expect from our relashionship. It is right now when I say that if you are going to fight my crazy mother, because let's face it, this is totally her M.O., I'm gonna do it with you and revenge Mattie with that. It is here when I go back to the start and say that I heard you talking in your sleep, saying to Vordenberg that you couldn't let him kill me, because you loved me - Carmilla smirks through the tears - it is now that I ask you: Do you meant it? Do you love me? Because god knows that I do love you and I do want to be with you and I do want us to have another chance to work this out... I want you to be mine as I am yours. 

\- Carm.. I don't even... I love you, I do. Of course I do. I was so scared of loving you that it took me losing you to notice that it was too late for me to try not to do so. I already had gone down that road... I'm so so so sorry! For everything! And I know we're.. 

-Come here - Carmilla pulls her and kiss her hard. 

Laura pushs herself away to breathe: 

\- we have to work so much on... 

Carmilla kisses her again and pushs her against the library shelf. Laura moans loudly. When Carmilla breaks the contact, Laura says: 

\- work so much on our problems and... 

\- Shh! Shut up! 

Carmilla gives a quick kiss on Laura's lip. 

\- Laura, when the girl you love kisses you, you don't talk anymore. 

Both, Laura and Carmilla look on LaFontaine's direction. Carmilla hards her looks and asks: 

\- How much time you're there? 

\- Just enough. Let's go, the Corvae guys won't be trapped there for long. 

They start walking, Carmilla stands her hand to Laura, who smiles and take it. 

\- Let's go.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!


End file.
